Enthusiasm gone awry
A vice president who had spent three years in India introducing an international telecom firm’s operations there, Tonya experienced culture shock and difficulty adjusting to her return to the United States. Those challenges piled on top of ongoing fallout from a brusque interpersonal style that made her U.S.-based colleagues bristle and that prompted a call to Dr. Fish prior to Tonya’s return.
Tonya had already been working in India when her current firm wooed her away from a competitor. An exceptionally entrepreneurial executive, she had thrived in India’s rich, complex tapestry of cultures, in which she had free reign to cut deals, make things happen and get creative—within the bounds of the law—about getting necessary permits, contracts and introductions. She had more than delivered on her firm’s expansion and left behind a strong unit that enjoyed enviable and growing market share.
When she arrived in a large midwest city’s damp winter to report for a new role, Tonya soon discovered that there would be no cutting deals in the very developed—and very traditional—corporate structure of her firm’s headquarters. Bureaucracy and political considerations made every discussion a minefield that often sent shrapnel flying as she unwittingly stepped into the middle of contested turf. Committee meetings took up her day and produced microscopic results that seemed to satisfy her colleagues but left her seething.
Always impatient, Tonya had ideas, plans, so much she was excited to share with her colleagues, but they weren’t interested. To them India was alien, tangential—almost irrelevant—to their agendas and day-to-day work. She felt they treated her with the same disregard. Nonetheless, she kept trying to teach them about the importance of India to the company’s future, often domineering meetings to deliver impassioned arguments about the country’s pivotal role. Her colleagues, in turn, thought she was ill-informed about the company’s core business in the United States.
When Tonya expressed frustration to colleagues about their disinterest in emerging markets and what she perceived as needless, do-nothing meetings, they began viewing her as someone who was not a team player. Predictably, after a short grace period, Tonya’s colleagues simply began working around her.
Tonya’s emotions were in high gear as she entered her first meeting with Dr. Fish.
How Dr. Fish helped
Debra’s first goal was to help Tonya calm down, reminding her of the magnitude of change she’d just made in moving her whole family across the world to a strange city where her corporate world had been operating without her for years. The unfortunate fact was that she was not nearly as important or powerful in the States as she had felt and been in India, and that shift was difficult for Tonya to absorb. She was alternately tearful and angry as the stress of the shifts in place, purpose and prestige struck her.
Debra helped Tonya understand that what Tonya viewed as passion about her work was more likely her usual, passionate nature supercharged by the stress of the move. Debra explained how the stress of that change and the resulting adrenaline flood were having a negative effect on Tonya’s ability to make solid judgments. Although Debra had been hired for an entirely different reason—to help Tonya soften her acerbic interpersonal style and engage more productively with colleagues—she first had to teach Tonya how to corral her emotions so that more level-headed reasoning could prevail.
That unexpected goal took several meetings to achieve.
In subsequent meetings, knowing Tonya was emotionally on edge, Debra carefully debriefed candid, difficult-to-hear 360 feedback to help Tonya understand how her colleagues viewed her: as a out-of-sync executive who thought their world should run according to her timetable and goals. Further, they saw her global ambitions as unrealistic and alien to their day-to-day work. Tonya struggled to accept her colleagues’ viewpoint, continuing to see them as blind to her valuable contributions and stuck in what she saw as their provincial midwestern ways.
Tonya had a lot of grievances, but Debra’s role was to direct Tonya’s attention to the parts of her work life that she could control. Debra guided her through exercises that helped Tonya change the way she interacted with teammates and, crucially, that changed her expectations of them so that she no longer felt rejected when they did not embrace her viewpoint. Although it was hard given what Tonya saw as her naturally passionate personality, with Debra’s help she learned to manage her initial emotional reaction to colleagues’ comments so that she was more poised and in control. She also learned to validate others’ observations and to understand that their contributions also were important parts of the company’s success.
These changes led to Tonya’s being invited to more meetings and to her comments being taken more seriously. A memorable breakthrough occurred when Tonya suggested that her boss and several colleagues travel to India to see first-hand how the firm’s presence there was contributing to the shareholder value of the firm and to its bottom line—and they said yes. Their new respect for her savvy and hard work helped everyone feel knit more closely to the firm’s success.
Tonya’s peers began to see her as more of a team player, and in response to that validation, Tonya turned an increasing share of her energy and passion to her new role in the U.S.
Update: Using the new interaction techniques and insights learned during her engagement with Dr. Fish, Tonya continued to gain political capital and has had the opportunity to ask for and win ever-larger projects. She now has the green light from the CEO to pursue a disruptive innovation that, even in its early stages of implementation, has shown the potential to shift the business model of her industry.
Tonya had already been working in India when her current firm wooed her away from a competitor. An exceptionally entrepreneurial executive, she had thrived in India’s rich, complex tapestry of cultures, in which she had free reign to cut deals, make things happen and get creative—within the bounds of the law—about getting necessary permits, contracts and introductions. She had more than delivered on her firm’s expansion and left behind a strong unit that enjoyed enviable and growing market share.
When she arrived in a large midwest city’s damp winter to report for a new role, Tonya soon discovered that there would be no cutting deals in the very developed—and very traditional—corporate structure of her firm’s headquarters. Bureaucracy and political considerations made every discussion a minefield that often sent shrapnel flying as she unwittingly stepped into the middle of contested turf. Committee meetings took up her day and produced microscopic results that seemed to satisfy her colleagues but left her seething.
Always impatient, Tonya had ideas, plans, so much she was excited to share with her colleagues, but they weren’t interested. To them India was alien, tangential—almost irrelevant—to their agendas and day-to-day work. She felt they treated her with the same disregard. Nonetheless, she kept trying to teach them about the importance of India to the company’s future, often domineering meetings to deliver impassioned arguments about the country’s pivotal role. Her colleagues, in turn, thought she was ill-informed about the company’s core business in the United States.
When Tonya expressed frustration to colleagues about their disinterest in emerging markets and what she perceived as needless, do-nothing meetings, they began viewing her as someone who was not a team player. Predictably, after a short grace period, Tonya’s colleagues simply began working around her.
Tonya’s emotions were in high gear as she entered her first meeting with Dr. Fish.
How Dr. Fish helped
Debra’s first goal was to help Tonya calm down, reminding her of the magnitude of change she’d just made in moving her whole family across the world to a strange city where her corporate world had been operating without her for years. The unfortunate fact was that she was not nearly as important or powerful in the States as she had felt and been in India, and that shift was difficult for Tonya to absorb. She was alternately tearful and angry as the stress of the shifts in place, purpose and prestige struck her.
Debra helped Tonya understand that what Tonya viewed as passion about her work was more likely her usual, passionate nature supercharged by the stress of the move. Debra explained how the stress of that change and the resulting adrenaline flood were having a negative effect on Tonya’s ability to make solid judgments. Although Debra had been hired for an entirely different reason—to help Tonya soften her acerbic interpersonal style and engage more productively with colleagues—she first had to teach Tonya how to corral her emotions so that more level-headed reasoning could prevail.
That unexpected goal took several meetings to achieve.
In subsequent meetings, knowing Tonya was emotionally on edge, Debra carefully debriefed candid, difficult-to-hear 360 feedback to help Tonya understand how her colleagues viewed her: as a out-of-sync executive who thought their world should run according to her timetable and goals. Further, they saw her global ambitions as unrealistic and alien to their day-to-day work. Tonya struggled to accept her colleagues’ viewpoint, continuing to see them as blind to her valuable contributions and stuck in what she saw as their provincial midwestern ways.
Tonya had a lot of grievances, but Debra’s role was to direct Tonya’s attention to the parts of her work life that she could control. Debra guided her through exercises that helped Tonya change the way she interacted with teammates and, crucially, that changed her expectations of them so that she no longer felt rejected when they did not embrace her viewpoint. Although it was hard given what Tonya saw as her naturally passionate personality, with Debra’s help she learned to manage her initial emotional reaction to colleagues’ comments so that she was more poised and in control. She also learned to validate others’ observations and to understand that their contributions also were important parts of the company’s success.
These changes led to Tonya’s being invited to more meetings and to her comments being taken more seriously. A memorable breakthrough occurred when Tonya suggested that her boss and several colleagues travel to India to see first-hand how the firm’s presence there was contributing to the shareholder value of the firm and to its bottom line—and they said yes. Their new respect for her savvy and hard work helped everyone feel knit more closely to the firm’s success.
Tonya’s peers began to see her as more of a team player, and in response to that validation, Tonya turned an increasing share of her energy and passion to her new role in the U.S.
Update: Using the new interaction techniques and insights learned during her engagement with Dr. Fish, Tonya continued to gain political capital and has had the opportunity to ask for and win ever-larger projects. She now has the green light from the CEO to pursue a disruptive innovation that, even in its early stages of implementation, has shown the potential to shift the business model of her industry.