An executive with a difference
Sometimes the ability to relate easily to team members just isn’t wired into even a top performer. Learning how to work around interpersonal characteristics proves key to one high-value employee’s success and job retention.
Just shut up!
No one said that to Jorge, in-house counsel at a Fortune 50 company, but everyone on the executive team thought it—loudly—every time they endured another painful meeting with him. When he latched on to a point he felt was important, he took the floor, expounding at length about arcane interpretations of law. He wore them out. They trusted him completely to look after the company’s legal standing; he was off-the-charts brilliant, had a photographic memory and was a fearsome negotiator. But they were at their wit’s end with his multiple explanations of legal minutiae during executive meetings with busy agendas. Didn’t he realize they didn’t need to know every comma about his work? And that they had their own jobs to do?
Something’s missing
Jorge eagerly wanted to advance in the company, but his 360º assessments and performance reviews, though complimentary of his legal acumen, had numerous comments about his “poor interpersonal skills.” Jorge felt deflated and baffled. He didn’t see a single thing that he could do differently to be nice to people, yet everyone seemed to think he was a jerk. He decided to ask for an executive coach to help him figure out what he was missing that was holding him back.
Jorge’s brain
What no one, including Jorge, realized was that Jorge’s brain is wired a bit differently than most people’s, leading him to a nearly obsessive preoccupation with details. His brain also was not wired to pick up social cues easily, so Jorge routinely missed the rolled eyes, loud sighs, annoyed fidgeting and even blatant interruptions signaling his colleagues’ impatience with his ramblings.
Debra noticed important clues while gathering Jorge’s life history that indicated that Jorge reported unusual behavior patterns, including pursuing hobbies that involved an intense focus on details and did not require interaction with others. Although stopping short of a diagnosis, she discussed traits she was seeing with Jorge, and he agreed with her assessment and recognized a long trail of incidents that reinforced their hunch that the hard-wiring in his brain was at the root of these traits, making them difficult to change.
Same thoughts, different behavior
No one can change the way Jorge’s brain is wired. Instead, Debra worked on helping Jorge recognize when he had made his point and should let the meeting progress to the next item of business. Since Jorge was largely oblivious to others’ cues, Debra advised him to pay attention to his own reactions, noticing when he was working harder to make his point than others were working to understand it. With practice, Jorge learned to recognize when his mind was getting primed to repeat his arguments or re-explain a detail, and at that point, to graciously cede the floor to the next person who needed to present.
Jorge’s colleagues expressed delight at the dramatic changes Jorge made. His more appropriate interactions during meetings made it easier for them to recognize the exceptional contributions he made to the firm and to give Jorge positive feedback, which reinforced his behavior and helped him feel more confident that his work was valued even when his colleagues didn’t know every detail about it.